The Ministry of Unknown Science
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All this science talk has confused you. You are perhaps perplexed. Your mind is full of questions. Do not fear. Take a deep breath, slug down a few patented Ministry of Unknown Science MELLOLUX jolly-pills and peruse this informative FAQ:


Q: What is the Ministry of Unknown Science?
A: We are a quartet of skilled comedy professionals who conduct complex multi-media experiments in pursuit of results. These experiments typically involve digitally recorded video segments interspersed with live stage interactions.

Q: So you're a sketch comedy troupe?

A: If you want to call us that, yes.

Q: How long have you been around?
A: We have been enlightening throngs of happy mutants since 2001.

Q: How come I never heard of you?
A: The Ministry's experiments are reservation-only events conducted in  THEORY LABS, a top-secret nuclear hideaway in the city of Los Angeles.  Our primary advertising is word-of-mouth. Directions to Theory Labs can  be obtained only by making a reservation for the show. You are now  among the elite to be offered access to this privileged information.

Q: So a Ministry show is kind of like a rave?
A: No. Though the Ministers are intrigued by technologically-produced musics, we must insist that those seeking a tribal dance experience look elsewhere for their fun. All glowsticks and ecstasy tablets will be confiscated at the door. The glowsticks will be safely destroyed. The ecstasy will be stored for use in future, private experiments.

Q: Are you really available to play events like funerals, rock concerts and conventions?
A: Absolutely!  Our science experiments can and will travel.  Anyone interested in booking the ministry should email us at ministry at mac do t com for more information.

Q: Did the Ministry of Unknown Science ever genetically engineer a half-man-half-prarie-dog designed to breed with insects to create a kind of mutant super-army that could sweep across the nation, devouring our food surplus and poisoning ground water?
A: Good question. It was actually a half-man-half-prarie-*oyster*. We categorically deny its existence.

Q: I have a sneaking suspicion that none of this makes much sense. Is that right?
A: Depends. WHOA -- the chickens are flying down my pants!

Q: What?
A: Nothing.

Q: Oh. Hey, when I attend a Ministry experiment, is the Ministry experiment all I get?
A: No, the Ministry is traditionally preceded to the stage by an opening performance "act" of some kind. It has been our experience that an opening act whets the audience's appetite for science, and keeps their minds off the pain as we drill through their skulls for brain samples.

Q: What kind of opening acts have you featured?
A: My, you're an inquisitive little fellow. Our opening acts run the gamut from sexy dancing girls to big-band bayou-funk musical groups.

Q: How about UFO's?
A: They do not exist. Yet there they are.

Q: One more thing...
A: No, I'm sorry, we're terribly busy here at the lab, and I must now ask you to peruse other sections of the website.

Q: But --
A: Don't make me shock you with this taser gun.

Q: Thanks for the info!
A: My pleasure.

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